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Jul 20 2009

Jokes:Men are just happier people

Published by subuh at 8:00 am under Fwd Emails, Jokes Edit This

Hey all, good day :) …Its monday blues..Well hope you all enjoy this forwaded jokes  ;)

MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE 

NICKNAMES

* If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and   Sarah.
* If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT
* When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50.  None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
* When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY
* A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

* A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need but it’s on sale.

BATHROOMS
* A man has six items in his bathroom:  toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a  towel ..

* The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337.  A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these  items.

ARGUMENTS
* A woman has the last word in any argument.

* Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE
* A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

* A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS
* A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

* A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE
* A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.

* A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.

DRESSING UP
* A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

* A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL
* Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

* Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING
* Ah, children.  A woman knows all about her children.  She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

* A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE  DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes.  There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing!

HAPPY   image0101.gif

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